Avoid Guessing and Anticipation
We're human. We make mistakes. Making a mistake in an improvised dance isn't hard to do. A lapse in concentration, a less than perfect lead, another couple encroaching on your space. Things happen, and sometimes the communication between leader and follower doesn't yield the intended result.
It's not a big deal. You can try again until you get it right.
Unless of course, the mistake was caused by guessing or anticipation.
What does that mean - guessing or anticipating? It means that the follower tried to predict what the lead was going to do instead of waiting for it to provide the necessary information. This is a common problem and VERY easy to let happen.
Help!
Why do followers guess? For a variety of reasons. Leaders repeat classic figures frequently, and followers get used to executing those steps the same way again and again. After a while the follower might assume that the lead will take her down a familiar path. If the leader chooses to do a variation, the follower can miss the signal that something unfamiliar is coming.
Some leaders don't lead clearly or consistently. Followers literally "fill in the blanks" in an attempt to dance with these gents. We'll discuss below why this is a bad idea for everyone.
Sometimes, followers just want to avoid making a bad impression. They fear (understandably) that if they make too many mistakes, the leader might question their abilities. They try to avoid mistakes by anticipating what the leader wants from them. Unfortunately, guessing doesn't work very well.
Don't Let Me Down
Don't guess. Anticipation won't help you. It CAN'T help you. You're going to guess INCORRECTLY sooner or later (probably sooner).
Guessing increases your chances of making a mistake, because a guess is not a reliable strategy for interpreting the lead.
Guessing corrupts the communication between leader and follower, because it creates results that didn't result from that interchange.
Let It Be
Here's your main take away from this chapter. Stop worrying about mistakes. Immediately! If they happen, they happen. It's better to be wrong while doing things the right way than to be right while cutting corners.
If you make a mistake in the natural flow of leading and following, keep dancing and it will resolve itself. But if you let guessing become a habit, your following skills will become very unreliable. And it will be very difficult to reverse the process.
We Can Work It Out
If the leader isn't giving clear signals, he needs be aware of the problem and resolve it. It's not the follower's responsibility to figure out what a leader wants her to do.
But guess what will happen if you help him out and correct his mistakes for him. HE'LL NEVER LEARN!
One of my teachers used to urge the ladies in the class to be "honest followers." Don't do what you think that they leader WANTS. Do what he actually LED instead. At least he's getting honest feedback. If he doesn't like the results, he can change his lead until he figures out how to make it work.
Buy what if the leader argues with you and tells you that you didn't do the step correctly. Sadly, this happens, but it's not your fault. He needs to learn to take responsibility for his own mistakes.
All You Need Is (Lead)
Occasionally, I meet a follower who has a very difficult time dancing the tango. They struggle to perform the simplest steps. They make frequent errors, and they become bitterly frustrated.
In almost every case, these followers are trying to think their way through the dance instead of relaxing and connecting with the lead. The feel the pressure to perform, and they desperately try to repeat what they have learned from memory.
Their attention drifts away from the lead. They're too busy trying to EXECUTE steps to focus on FOLLOWING them.
It can be very difficult to get a follower who dances this way to realize what she's doing wrong and to make the necessary corrections. She's trying very hard to execute her movements properly, and she doesn't want to stop trying. She doesn't want to let go.
But when we succeed in getting the struggling follower to relax and flow with the lead, their dancing improves immediately and by a good measure. They realize that it's not necessary to "perform" steps in order to follow them.
No guessing. No anticipating. If you miss a queue here or there, that's okay. Keep following. Keep your focus on the lead, and everything will work out.
¡Buena suerte, amigos, y muchas gracias!
Daniel
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