Sunday, March 26, 2017

What Teachers Put Up With

Hard Lessons

Have you ever dreamed of teaching your own classes, of sharing the knowledge that you've developed over the years as you help others to reach their goals of becoming better dancers? Teaching is a thrilling and rewarding pursuit, even under challenging conditions.

But those challenges are real, and as a teacher, you'll have to deal with them. It's part of the package. Here's a sample of some of the issues that you'll be facing.


Gender Imbalance

When people come to a dance class, they expect to be dancing. When the leader to follower ratio is significantly imbalanced, the students are disappointed. They might not express that disappointment, but they're feeling it.

Well, guess what - the teacher is disappointed, too. They spent time planning what to teach in that class. They tailor the plan to the students that they expected to show up. If the gender balance is way off, their plan is useless, and they time that they put into it is wasted.

Further, they now have to find something to occupy a roomful of disappointed students that will make the hour worth their while.

Let's say that five followers show up, but there are no leaders. The quick solution is to turn the class into a mini-workshop on follower's technique. It might be tempting to work on boleos - just keep in mind that repeating boleos is tiring, and it doesn't accomplish much if there's no one to lead them in the context of an improvised tango.

Other possibilities include also adornments (followers love these), walking and posture (again, not to the point of becoming painful), and everybody's least favorite topic, musical interpretation.

So, you begin you follower's workshop, and everything is going smoothly until a couple walks in fifteen minutes late. What are you going to do now? Are you going to ask the leader of the couple to dance with six followers (leaving his partner feeling slighted)? Are you going to ask the two of them to join in your followers' workshop and hope that they leader understands that it's in his best interest to learn this stuff?

Rest assured, whatever choice you make, someone is going to complain.


Bickering

Let's say that you have a perfect leader/follower balance one day, but it's a small class. One married couple prefers not to change partners. The remaining couples rotate, but they dance with the same partners over and over again, because there aren't that many students.

At one point during the class, Follower Number 3 whispers in your ear. "Please don't make me dance with Leader Number 2 any more. He's obnoxious. I can't stand his attitude!"

After class, Leader Number 2 approaches you. "Please don't make me dance with Follower Number 3 next time. She's horrible!" 

Good luck working that situation out to everyone's satisfaction!


Playing Catch Up

The demands of life are more important than the demands of a dance class. I support anyone who has to work late sometimes or go on business trips or take care of their kids. 

Sometimes, people miss a week or two of classes, or more. When they return to class, they'll want to catch up with the group. Unfortunately, the nature of classes is progressive. 

Students who come to class every week might become impatient if you repeat a topics that they have already worked on. This is unfortunate, because repetition is critical to the development and understanding of skills, but it's also human nature. 

You can take the student who is catching up off to the side for a few minutes, but that diverts attention away from the rest of the class. The Absolute Golden Rule Of Teaching Anything is that students do NOT like it when you're not paying attention to them. Write that one down.

You have a couple of options. Ask the student to do the best that they can, and offer to help them after class (or in a private lesson). Ask some of the students who are doing well to demonstrate the technique as you explain it. They will feel valued, and they won't mind that you're spending time with someone who needs extra help. Or you might be able to jump to a topic that's new for everyone (or with which everyone is struggling). 


Mixed-Level Classes

Oh, the humanity! My worst moments as a teacher came when I was asked to teach two levels simultaneously. For example, a beginner couple shows up on the night of the Intermediate class. Or they say that they can't come on the Beginners' night. You don't want to turn them away, so you try to teach two levels simultaneously.

Here's a subtle hint: It's a BAD idea!

The experienced students will hate it because you're not paying enough attention to them. (Remember the Absolute Golden Rule or Teaching Anything.)

The less experience students will feel overwhelmed. They'll want to try the things that the more experienced students are doing and, worse, they'll perceive the simpler exercises that you are asking them to do to be less important. It's not true. What you are teaching them is critically important. But they won't see it that way.

Prepare yourself, my friends with teaching aspirations. The mixed-level class is a no-win situation.


¡Buena suerte amigos, y muchas gracias!
Daniel

Copyright © 2017 The Exploring Tango Blog
All Rights Reserved



Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Tango Friends

Have you ever felt anxious walking into an unfamiliar milonga or workshop? Here's a better question: have you ever NOT felt anxious under these conditions? No matter how experienced you are, walking into a room where no one knows you and hoping that someone there will dance with you, that is a scary situation. The relative openness of tango communities varies, but I have been to places where strangers are not warmly welcomed. University crowds can be particularly insular.

It's much more relaxed and comfortable to go to dance where people know you. Being greeted by friendly, welcoming faces is heartwarming. Having people there who enjoy your company and your dancing makes a big difference in the milonga experience.

Our tango communities afford us with the opportunity to build supportive, long-term relationships with like-minded connoisseurs of dance and music. I hope that you have developing and cultivating relationships like this in your own tango community. It's a blessing to have tango friends who welcome us back again and again into their space and their arms. Treasure those people, and appreciate them for the blessing of camaraderie and shared experience that they bring into your life.

It is important, however, to understand the limitations of such relationships. It is important to distinguish the convenient, context-related friendships of tango with the greater concept of friendship in real life. Our tango friends are warm and supportive and share with us an unspoken level of intimacy. Our dance connections can and will hold validity for years and years, even when we don't see people frequently, as when they live in a different city.

One might want to be mindful of certain level of dance hall distortion. Tango relationships rarely extend beyond the walls of the milonga. The segregation of real life and tango life can work in our favor in some cases, but it also has a downside.

The depth and quality of emotion that we experience on the dance floor gives the illusion of intimacy, of dedication, and abiding respect. But how deeply do those emotions run? Is the whole idea of dance connection a convenient mirage?

What would happen if you couldn't dance for some period of time? How would your tango friends react? You might not know if such separation has never occurred during your tango life. But that doesn't mean that it can't happen. Do you expect to interact with your tango friends if you are forced to step out of the tango world for a while? How long do you think that such an arrangement will last?


An Outsider's Perspective

Years ago, I found myself arguing this point with one of my non-tango friends. I had told her over dinner about my busy tango life. At the time, I was putting in a lot of tango hours each week, taking classes, going to milongas, practicing with dedicated partners, studying video, developing choreography, and working diligently on my own technique. I was dancing with hundreds of people every year, many of them people whom I had never met. I was making a lot of friends - or so I thought.

"They're not your friends," my friend said bluntly.

I was shocked. "What do you mean, they're not my friends? I see them all the time. We have a nice time together. They're good people; I know many of them quite well."

"They're not your friends," she repeated. "They act like your friends, because they get something from you," she argued. "The women get to dance with you, and the men hang out with you when they're out having fun."

"It's not like that," I explained.

"It is like that," she insisted. "You're not their friend. You're an enabler for their addiction."

"No! No! No!" I argued emphatically. "You're not part of the tango community. You don't understand how it really is."

My friend was unimpressed. We had to agree to disagree on this point.

Some years later, I scaled back my social dancing for a combination of personal and professional reasons. Guess what happened. I discovered that my friend's argument, the one that I tried to refute to her face, actually held merit. 

Once I stepped back from the tango scene, most of the "friendships" that I had developed over the years evaporated overnight. The only time I saw or heard from them was when I went out to an occasional dance. A handful of people did contact me in the early days of my social tango sabbatical, but most of the time, they were calling me to go out dancing. ("Are you coming to the milonga this weekend?" "Can you come out to watch me and my partner perform?" "Will you be my partner for this workshop?") Decline one or two of those invitations, and the phone stops ringing.

I had to face an uncomfortable truth. My tango friends were all nice people, but perhaps a bit less "friendly" than I had imagined. Where did they all go when my life faced challenges? 

Very few of them kept in touch to see how I was doing. They weren't around to cheer me up when I lost my job, for instance. They were blissfully unaware. I received no sympathy emails (or even texts) when I struggled with separate back, foot, and knee injuries. Everybody must have been out having fun at some milonga somewhere.

My non-tango friend was right, and I was wrong. I hate to be wrong.


Fluid Dynamics

Businessman and author Harvey Mackay once wrote: "Anyone who thinks he or she is indispensable should stick a finger in a bowl of water and notice the hole it leaves when the finger is pulled out."

The tango community has this kind of fluidity in its social dynamic. If you don't believe me, step away for a little while and watch what happens. Your friends will make new friends. Your favorite partners will hook up with new partners. (I had that happen to me once when I missed a single practica due to a bad cold.

That comfortable place where you feel appreciated and important, the whole scene that you know and love, it will move along quite nicely without you. No one there will spend more than the length of a song intro wondering what happened to you. If you aren't immediately available for next tanda, your friends are focusing on someone else.


Separation Anxiety

You don't have to take my word for it. At some point, life will probably force you to take a sabbatical from tango. You might need to deal with a health issue, a family matter, or a business or educational demand. Whatever it is, don't expect your tango friends to flock to your side. They have dancing to do.

One day, hopefully, you'll be able to return and enjoy some dancing again. The good news is that your old friends will still recognize you. They'll remember how nice it was to dance with you, and they'll enjoy having you back. That's the silver lining of the tango world: people never forget you as long as you're in the same room.

Your friends will almost certain ask you where you've been, but they'll do it in a very tango-centric way, as though you could not possibly have been doing something else. Here's the question that annoys me the most: "Where have you been dancing?"

"I haven't been dancing anywhere, you clueless nitwit! I have been taking care of myself, providing for my family, and tending of my responsibilities. I have been accomplishing things - important things - while you were wandering around in circles with strangers who pretend to actually care about you." - Yeah, I'd love to have the balls to say that one day.

Again, you don't have to take my word for it. But you might want to acknowledge that my semi-retirement from social dancing gives me a good vantage point on this issue. From where I'm standing, the tango scene does not seem as friendly as it did when I was a regular. If you have not yet spent some time outside of the elbow-to-elbow flux of weekly milongas, you have not yet seen the whole picture.

You may find that hard to believe - I would be surprised if you didn't - but I would encourage you to consider the possibility that what I am telling you is true. That way you won't be shocked one day when most of your tango friends vanish without a trace.



¡Buena suerte amigos, y muchas gracias!
Daniel

Copyright © 2017 The Exploring Tango Blog
All Rights Reserved