In Argentine Tango, the leader has a complex series of responsibilities. Here is a list in order of priority.
Priority 1 - Hold her as though you're holding a newborn baby
Be Gentle, men! Hold her Tenderly! Softly! Securely but Delicately!
Let your embrace say, "I respect you and appreciate that you are here with me, and I'm going to take very good care of you."
Your embrace should NOT say, "I'm going to clamp down on you and drag you across the floor while I run through all of the steps that I've learned."
Men instinctively use their strength when confronted with a problem. It something isn't working, push or pull a little harder. Man up! But strength is generally a weakness in the embrace, not an asset. It impedes movement and reduces comfort dramatically. And sometimes, it just plain hurts.
Special focus - Be aware of your arms and hands at all times. Too much force from your left arm can cause pain in the follower's neck, arm, hand, and shoulder. Too much force from your right arm will cause pack pain.
On occasions when you need your strength, as when the follower trips or stumbles, you'll have plenty. Don't worry - you're strong enough.
The rest of the time, resist the urge to squeeze or pull or dominate the follower, even if she's moving sluggishly or isn't responding accurately to your lead. It doesn't help, and they don't enjoy it. Actually, they hate it, but they're too polite to tell you. I'm not.
Priority 2 - Pay attention to her
It's such a simple thing, and it makes such a big difference. Fernanda Ghi once told me to "lead at all times." Keep your focus on the follower. Know where she is and what she needs, and respond immediately. This advice has served me well. It will do the same for you.
Tune into the follower. If she's not ready, don't move. If she's nervous, calm her. If she appears to be concerned, reassure her.
If you lead a long step and she take a short one, be aware of that and compensate for it.
If she steps with the wrong foot, you'll need to be aware of that immediately so that you can adjust the sequence accordingly.
If she is having trouble staying balanced and on axis, you need to be aware of this. You actually might be causing the problem. Don't assume that you're not.
If your attention gets caught up navigating through traffic or planning your next big move, you'll need to direct your focus back toward the follower as soon as possible.
Priority 1 - Hold her as though you're holding a newborn baby
Be Gentle, men! Hold her Tenderly! Softly! Securely but Delicately!
Let your embrace say, "I respect you and appreciate that you are here with me, and I'm going to take very good care of you."
Your embrace should NOT say, "I'm going to clamp down on you and drag you across the floor while I run through all of the steps that I've learned."
Men instinctively use their strength when confronted with a problem. It something isn't working, push or pull a little harder. Man up! But strength is generally a weakness in the embrace, not an asset. It impedes movement and reduces comfort dramatically. And sometimes, it just plain hurts.
Special focus - Be aware of your arms and hands at all times. Too much force from your left arm can cause pain in the follower's neck, arm, hand, and shoulder. Too much force from your right arm will cause pack pain.
On occasions when you need your strength, as when the follower trips or stumbles, you'll have plenty. Don't worry - you're strong enough.
The rest of the time, resist the urge to squeeze or pull or dominate the follower, even if she's moving sluggishly or isn't responding accurately to your lead. It doesn't help, and they don't enjoy it. Actually, they hate it, but they're too polite to tell you. I'm not.
Priority 2 - Pay attention to her
It's such a simple thing, and it makes such a big difference. Fernanda Ghi once told me to "lead at all times." Keep your focus on the follower. Know where she is and what she needs, and respond immediately. This advice has served me well. It will do the same for you.
Tune into the follower. If she's not ready, don't move. If she's nervous, calm her. If she appears to be concerned, reassure her.
If you lead a long step and she take a short one, be aware of that and compensate for it.
If she steps with the wrong foot, you'll need to be aware of that immediately so that you can adjust the sequence accordingly.
If she is having trouble staying balanced and on axis, you need to be aware of this. You actually might be causing the problem. Don't assume that you're not.
If your attention gets caught up navigating through traffic or planning your next big move, you'll need to direct your focus back toward the follower as soon as possible.
Priority 3 - Lead with absolute clarity
Note: Notice that leading the steps is Priority Number Three. Establishing a comfortable embrace and being aware of your follower are more important concerns and therefore must take precedence.
The lead must be clear. An unclear lead is like a recipe with bad instructions and a list of the wrong ingredients.
An unclear lead is useless. Actually, it's worse than useless. It's a liability. The follower would rather sit and wait for a better leader than follow unclear instructions - especially if those instructions are accompanied by criticism.
How do you know whether your lead is clear? For any given step sequence that you lead, most followers, even inexperienced ones, should be able to follow it and do what you expected them to do. If they say things like "I don't think I got that," or "Could you lead that again?", then your lead probably isn't as clear as it should be.
This is difficult for some leaders to accept. Get over it. Developing as a leader requires owning up to your weaknesses and correcting them. If the followers can't figure out what you were trying to lead, you have work to do. It's as simple as that.
Note: Notice that leading the steps is Priority Number Three. Establishing a comfortable embrace and being aware of your follower are more important concerns and therefore must take precedence.
The lead must be clear. An unclear lead is like a recipe with bad instructions and a list of the wrong ingredients.
An unclear lead is useless. Actually, it's worse than useless. It's a liability. The follower would rather sit and wait for a better leader than follow unclear instructions - especially if those instructions are accompanied by criticism.
How do you know whether your lead is clear? For any given step sequence that you lead, most followers, even inexperienced ones, should be able to follow it and do what you expected them to do. If they say things like "I don't think I got that," or "Could you lead that again?", then your lead probably isn't as clear as it should be.
This is difficult for some leaders to accept. Get over it. Developing as a leader requires owning up to your weaknesses and correcting them. If the followers can't figure out what you were trying to lead, you have work to do. It's as simple as that.
Priority 4 - Shower her with encouragement, acceptance, and assurance
The value of positive feedback cannot be overstated. It doesn't matter whether the follower is a beginner or a seasoned expert, if you're cold and judgmental, she'll walk away with questions about her own ability and negative feelings about dancing in general.
A good leader NEVER makes the follower feel badly about herself OR her dancing. NEVER! Even if her technique (or her attitude) is, well, let's just say not particularly amazing, no gentleman would dare let a follower walk away feeling badly about a dance that they just shared.
Take it on the chin, guys. If mistakes were made, own up to some of the responsibility. You might think that it wasn't your fault. But think about it. If you ask a lady to dance, and she doesn't walk away happy, how can it not be at least partially your fault? Think about that one long and hard.
If the tanda was rough, the follower is going to feel badly enough no matter what you say, so you'd better say something encouraging and give her a chance to save her dignity.
The follower doesn't need a lesson in technique from you tonight. It's not going to do any good anyway if she resents you for belittling her. Let her figure out what went wrong in her own time, perhaps in the comfort of a private lesson. It doesn't have to happen at a milonga with a hundred people watching. If you want to make a difference in her dancing, give her the warmth of grace and acceptance instead the cold fist of criticism and resentment.
Can you do that, gents? Can you step up and be a man in a tough situation?
- Be pleasant and polite, both before and after your tanda together.
- Smile.
- Communicate through your embrace that everything is okay and that she's doing well.
- If she makes self-deprecating remarks such as, "I'm only a beginner," or "I haven't been dancing very long," reassure her verbally that everything will be fine. Encourage her to relax and enjoy the music.
Priority 5 - Keep other people from bumping into her
We need to focus on our partner first, but traffic is constantly present, and we can't neglect it.
- Protect your follower at all times, even if that means abandoning the step that you planned to do and retreating to the safety of another spot on the dance floor.
- Don't let other couples run into her or kick her. This requires some vigilance, as some leaders might be less conscientious about traffic management than you are.
- Never cause her to walk into or kick another couple. (Dude!!)
Caveat: Occasionally, we end up dancing with a follower who executes un-led boleos, ganchos, kicks, and other high-risk movements. This is an extremely dangerous situation, especially on a crowded floor.
Do your best to keep Ms. Enthusiastic away from other couples and from the people at the edges of the floor. In some instances, you might need to physically block her exuberant movements. If she questions why you did this, be honest. If she gets angry with you, don't worry about it. You won't want to dance with her again anyway - unless you enjoy getting into fights.
The value of positive feedback cannot be overstated. It doesn't matter whether the follower is a beginner or a seasoned expert, if you're cold and judgmental, she'll walk away with questions about her own ability and negative feelings about dancing in general.
A good leader NEVER makes the follower feel badly about herself OR her dancing. NEVER! Even if her technique (or her attitude) is, well, let's just say not particularly amazing, no gentleman would dare let a follower walk away feeling badly about a dance that they just shared.
Take it on the chin, guys. If mistakes were made, own up to some of the responsibility. You might think that it wasn't your fault. But think about it. If you ask a lady to dance, and she doesn't walk away happy, how can it not be at least partially your fault? Think about that one long and hard.
If the tanda was rough, the follower is going to feel badly enough no matter what you say, so you'd better say something encouraging and give her a chance to save her dignity.
The follower doesn't need a lesson in technique from you tonight. It's not going to do any good anyway if she resents you for belittling her. Let her figure out what went wrong in her own time, perhaps in the comfort of a private lesson. It doesn't have to happen at a milonga with a hundred people watching. If you want to make a difference in her dancing, give her the warmth of grace and acceptance instead the cold fist of criticism and resentment.
Can you do that, gents? Can you step up and be a man in a tough situation?
- Be pleasant and polite, both before and after your tanda together.
- Smile.
- Communicate through your embrace that everything is okay and that she's doing well.
- If she makes self-deprecating remarks such as, "I'm only a beginner," or "I haven't been dancing very long," reassure her verbally that everything will be fine. Encourage her to relax and enjoy the music.
Priority 5 - Keep other people from bumping into her
We need to focus on our partner first, but traffic is constantly present, and we can't neglect it.
- Protect your follower at all times, even if that means abandoning the step that you planned to do and retreating to the safety of another spot on the dance floor.
- Don't let other couples run into her or kick her. This requires some vigilance, as some leaders might be less conscientious about traffic management than you are.
- Never cause her to walk into or kick another couple. (Dude!!)
Caveat: Occasionally, we end up dancing with a follower who executes un-led boleos, ganchos, kicks, and other high-risk movements. This is an extremely dangerous situation, especially on a crowded floor.
Do your best to keep Ms. Enthusiastic away from other couples and from the people at the edges of the floor. In some instances, you might need to physically block her exuberant movements. If she questions why you did this, be honest. If she gets angry with you, don't worry about it. You won't want to dance with her again anyway - unless you enjoy getting into fights.
Priority 6 - Bond with the music
The more closely you coordinate your movements (and hers) with the music, the better your follower will enjoy dancing with you.
I feel as though I should say more on this topic, but I believe that you get the idea. Right? Easy! ;-)
Priority 7 - Find her weaknesses - and avoid them
This is an amazing concept, and I'd like to thank Ivan Terrazas for bringing it to my attention years ago.
Everyone struggles with one technique or another. For a particular follower, if her boleos aren't good, avoid leading boleos. Consider the environment, too. If the floor is sticky, avoid making the follower pivot frequently.
It's a tango, not the CPA exam. You don't need to cover every tango topic with every follower. If it seems as though some technique or combination might be problematic for her, DON'T LEAD IT. Save those techniques for someone else, and give this follower a dance that's customized to her own comfort zone.
Now, THAT is being a LEADER!
The more closely you coordinate your movements (and hers) with the music, the better your follower will enjoy dancing with you.
I feel as though I should say more on this topic, but I believe that you get the idea. Right? Easy! ;-)
Priority 7 - Find her weaknesses - and avoid them
This is an amazing concept, and I'd like to thank Ivan Terrazas for bringing it to my attention years ago.
Everyone struggles with one technique or another. For a particular follower, if her boleos aren't good, avoid leading boleos. Consider the environment, too. If the floor is sticky, avoid making the follower pivot frequently.
It's a tango, not the CPA exam. You don't need to cover every tango topic with every follower. If it seems as though some technique or combination might be problematic for her, DON'T LEAD IT. Save those techniques for someone else, and give this follower a dance that's customized to her own comfort zone.
Now, THAT is being a LEADER!
Priority 8 - Keep your mouth shut (unless you're old friends catching up)
A little chatting can be nice when you're dancing with a friend that you haven't seen in a while. That said, silence enables the couple to communicate nonverbally, which tends to enhance the intensity of tango. It's probably better to catch up with your friend before or after the set.
Avoid talking about the steps, techniques, or the combinations that you've danced. "You were supposed to cross there," is the last thing that anyone wants to hear on a dance floor. The very last thing.
Priority 9 - Keep it simple and enjoyable
Followers don't want a demonstration of every technique that you've ever learned. They want a pleasant experience on the dance floor. Clear, simple movements in a comfortable embrace with a sensitive and encouraging partner - that will make most followers very happy. You don't need to dazzle her with a dizzying array of combinations.
Begin each song simply. Choose a couple of elements that work with this particular piece of music, e.g. rock steps and ganchos, avoid techniques that she can't do comfortably, and make something out of that.
For the next song, add another element or two and blend them in tastefully. If the dance begins to feel repetitive, add more variety. But don't go overboard.
Less is more. Make you tango more about exploring the partnership than about preparing to compete for a championship.
Disclaimer: Men can and do follow. However, full-time male followers are somewhat rare. The vast majority of followers that I have met are women, and the vast majority of female tango dancers that I met are full-time followers.
I chose to write this piece equating "woman" with "follower" and using female pronouns to represent "her". It made the wording simpler rather than the alternative of using "they" or "he or she" repeatedly. Please feel free to adapt the ideas to other configurations, e.g. women leading women or men leading men. The principles are important no matter who's dancing together.
¡Buena suerte, amigos, y muchas gracias!
A little chatting can be nice when you're dancing with a friend that you haven't seen in a while. That said, silence enables the couple to communicate nonverbally, which tends to enhance the intensity of tango. It's probably better to catch up with your friend before or after the set.
Avoid talking about the steps, techniques, or the combinations that you've danced. "You were supposed to cross there," is the last thing that anyone wants to hear on a dance floor. The very last thing.
Priority 9 - Keep it simple and enjoyable
Followers don't want a demonstration of every technique that you've ever learned. They want a pleasant experience on the dance floor. Clear, simple movements in a comfortable embrace with a sensitive and encouraging partner - that will make most followers very happy. You don't need to dazzle her with a dizzying array of combinations.
Begin each song simply. Choose a couple of elements that work with this particular piece of music, e.g. rock steps and ganchos, avoid techniques that she can't do comfortably, and make something out of that.
For the next song, add another element or two and blend them in tastefully. If the dance begins to feel repetitive, add more variety. But don't go overboard.
Less is more. Make you tango more about exploring the partnership than about preparing to compete for a championship.
Disclaimer: Men can and do follow. However, full-time male followers are somewhat rare. The vast majority of followers that I have met are women, and the vast majority of female tango dancers that I met are full-time followers.
I chose to write this piece equating "woman" with "follower" and using female pronouns to represent "her". It made the wording simpler rather than the alternative of using "they" or "he or she" repeatedly. Please feel free to adapt the ideas to other configurations, e.g. women leading women or men leading men. The principles are important no matter who's dancing together.
¡Buena suerte, amigos, y muchas gracias!
Daniel
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