Students progress at different rates. Some people pick up new movements with ease, while others have to work harder and put in more time to reach the same level of competence and fluidity.
That said, the vast majority of students make steady progress over time when they show up and put in the effort. But occasionally we encounter a student who struggles to execute the simplest movements or grasp the most fundamental concepts.
These students are highly motivated. They want to learn. They want to make progress. They show up week after week and try as hard as they can. Unfortunately, sometimes they end up trying too hard. Their work ethic actually creates roadblocks to their progress.
One lady stands out in my memory. She was so nice, and she tried so hard. But she struggled simply because she wouldn't let herself relax and respond to the lead. She seemed to be convinced that she had to execute the steps and sequences actively. She wouldn't just relax and let the leader take her on a ride.
I encouraged her constantly. I spent a lot of time with her in the class; I could see the other leaders becoming frustrated with her, and I didn't want her to feel their judgment. She felt badly enough already. I could see the disappointment and frustration in her face.
"Forget the step," I would tell her.
"Just relax and move with me."
"Go where the lead takes you."
"Follow my shoulders."
"You have plenty of time. Just relax."
"Abandon the plan and just dance."
Eventually, after months of encouragement, my struggling student finally made a breakthrough. She finally relaxed and let herself respond to the lead. It was an amazing experience for both of us.
"You see?" I ask. "It's effortless."
"It is!" she replied enthusiastically.
You should have seen the look on her face. She was glowing. She did so well that evening that I asked her to dance with me for the closing demo of the class. Her transformation was amazing.
She came back the following week, and we shared several smooth, flowing dances together. She danced as though she was floating on a cloud. I was so happy for her.
The school closed for a couple of weeks during the holidays, and that closing was followed by a period of bad weather.I didn't see my student for while. When she returned a month or so later, she had reverted to her old habits. She struggled as though the breakthrough had never happened.
I was confident that I could work with her and encourage her to get back on track. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, she returned only once more. I never saw her again after that.
I don't know what happened. Perhaps she grew weary of the frustration. Maybe someone criticized her. Maybe she simply decided that tango wasn't for her, that it was too challenging.
It broke my heart when I realized that she wasn't coming back. I wish that I could have inspired her to stick around for a little bit longer. She had her breakthrough, and it would have happened again with a bit more time and encouragement.
But it wasn't to be. All of my encouragement and reassurance wasn't enough to inspire her to continue. It was my biggest failure as a teacher.
I always tried to understand each student's individual needs and provide them with personalized instruction. The students who stuck with me always made progress. I'm so proud to watch those students today. They dance beautifully.
But no one's breakthrough meant more to me than this one. This lady struggled so hard for so long. To watch her finally dance and flow in the moment. That was very, very special. I hope that she remembers those dances as fondly as I do.
Hers was a difficult journey. I sympathize if she just didn't want to work that hard anymore. But I hope that she'll give the tango another chance one day. Because I know that she can do it.
¡Buena suerte amigos, y muchas gracias!
Daniel
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