You agree to meet a friend after work. Your friend says, "Hi! I'm in the mood for Italian food. Let's go to Bernardo's."
Before you have a chance to reply, your friend phones the restaurant. "Hi, Bernardo's? Yes, I'd like to make a reservation for two. We'll be there in ten minutes."
You're probably not very happy with your friend right now.
- To begin with, your friend didn't ask you how you were doing or whether everything was going well with you.
- They didn't ask you if you wanted to have dinner or whether you had already eaten.
- They didn't ask you if you were amenable to eating Italian food or whether you had any concerns about dining at this particular restaurant.
- They placed the reservation without considering without first giving you a chance to voice any feelings or preferences.
Have a nice dinner. Hopefully, your friend won't eat your dessert.
Leading and Following
There is a tango analogy embedded in this restaurant scenario. The simplistic view of partners dancing is that leaders give instructions and followers execute those instructions. But the process is far more complex and interactive. Each partner senses what the other is doing and makes adjustments in real time. At least, that's the way that it should work.
Bad leaders are careless and insensitive, not unlike our fictional dinner companion. They plan their steps independent of any feedback from the follower, and they expect the follower that plan without question. This type of leader might be ignoring the follower, but it's more likely that they aren't even aware of factors to which they should be paying careful attention.
A good leader would not treat you this way, just as a good friend wouldn't.
Complex Interactions
As the dance is about to begin, the leader senses several things about the follower.
- Is the follower comfortable? If not, what can we do to encourage them to relax?
- Do they seem ready to move?
- Are they tuned in to the lead, or are they distracted?
- Is the follower's embrace flexible, or is it rigid in ways that will limit the leader's choice of movements.
After taking the few first steps together, the leader will continue their analysis.
- Did the follower do what we expected, or did they do something different?
- Were their steps longer or shorter than we anticipated?
- Do they move rapidly when they sense the lead, or do they react more slowly and deliberately, i.e. with some degree of delay. (Delay is expected, and the amount of delay varies with each follower.)
- Were the follower's steps energetic or passive?
- Did the follower appear to struggle with balance at any point?
A good leader will take all of this information into account. They effectively customize each dance for that particular follower. The leader will choose steps that the follower can execute comfortably, and they'll be accepting, forgiving, and encouraging throughout.
Interpreting The Lead
Likewise, the follower needs to interpret signals from the leader and adapt movements accordingly in order to make the most out of their dance experience (or in some cases, to survive it).
- Is the leader's embrace causing discomfort? Are they awkward? Are they stepping on us?
- Are they assured or timid in their movements?
- Is their lead weak, clear, or forceful?
- Do they lead with strength or with finesse?
- Are their movements integrated with the timing and the feel of the music?
- Are they trying to execute movements that are beyond their capabilities?
- Is their dancing expressive and dynamic, or it is consistent in its pace and energy level?
A good follower takes all of these details into account.
The follower's first concern should be the prevention of injury or discomfort. But when those concerns are no longer an issue, the follower can concentrate on adapting to the leader's style and making the most out of their time on the floor. By adding their own energy, sensitivity, and musicality to the movements that have been suggested, the follower can elevate the dance to new levels for both partners.
Making It Work
Clearly, dancing the tango is more complex than simply giving and receiving instructions. Leaders and followers must be sensitive to a number of factors, factors that demand continuous, real-time adjustment.
Without this level of sensitivity and interaction, the dance will be unenjoyable and restrictive regardless of the complexity of the steps that are performed.
Best sensitive and aware. Adjust to each person in real time. Make the most of each moment. Dancing with an insensitive partner is a miserable experience.
¡Buena suerte amigos, y muchas gracias!
Daniel
Copyright © 2013 The Exploring Tango Blog
exploringtango.blogspot.com
All Rights Reserved
No comments:
Post a Comment