Dancing Beyond Sexuality - Addendum

A Hockey Analogy

It's playoff time in the National Hockey League.  I've had the pleasure of enjoying a number of exciting games so far despite the fact that my beloved Pittsburgh Penguins were eliminated in the first round.  Boo!

I've also been receiving a lot of thoughtful comments about my previous post entitled, "Dancing Beyond Sexuality."

I suppose that all of the tango and hockey has been mixing in my head, because earlier this week I came up with a fun analogy.

Dancing tango primarily to enjoy a sensuous experience is like watching hockey primarily to see fights.

I accept that fighting is a part of NHL hockey.  (Whether it should be is another topic.)

I accept that hand to hand combat is fascinating to human beings.  Wrestling, boxing, and other fighting sports have been popular with spectators since the dawn of human history.

I accept that some people will watch NHL hockey matches in order to enjoy the fights that break out from time to time.

However, if someone watches hockey primarily for the fights, they may not be appreciating the many other aspects of the sport - the speed, the skill, the strategy, the athleticism, the split-second reactions of the goaltender, the history or the sport and the unique legacy of the Stanley Cup trophy.

Further, fight fans won't be able to enjoy collegiate and international hockey matches where fighting is not tolerated to the degree that it is in the NHL.

Now back to tango...

I accept that holding someone closely in our arms can be a sensuous experience, particularly if we find that person to be attractive in the first place.

I accept that human attraction is a powerful force that's encoded into our very being.  These impulses are impossible to ignore entirely as they'll always command some percentage of our attention.

I accept that there are people who dance the tango primarily for the enjoyment and closeness that they feel when they're being held in someone's arms.

However, if this is their primary focus, they may not be appreciating other aspects of the dance.

The Argentine tango provides a framework where a unique and powerful connection can exist.  This connection enables two individuals to improvise movements together in real time, movements of significant complexity and detailed nuance.

The tango connection will not happen with every partner.  In fact, one of the great joys of all partners dancing - but especially the Argentine tango - is discovering which partners best connect with us.  The amount of experience that they have doesn't matter.  I've enjoyed wonderful tandas with people how have been dancing for only a short while.  Similarly, physical attraction for the partner does not contribute much if anything to our ability to connect within the dance.

A tango connection can happen with a partner who is old or young, male or female, and of just about any size or shape.  Conversely, anyone who's spent much time at a milonga has probably danced with a highly attractive person with whom the had no tango connection whatsoever.

What is it that creates magic at the milonga?  It's clearly not physical attraction.

A partner brings many attributes to the dance floor.  Some people hear music very clearly or they've spent time developing skills in musical interpretation.  Some are highly creative.  Some are flexible, athletic, and well-balanced.  Some have a delightful sense of humor.  And of course it doesn't hurt to have reasonably well-developed technique.

Unfortunately, if we get caught up looking for a sensual experience in the arms of an attractive partner, we're bound to miss out on tango connections with partners who have all of these other wonderful qualities to share.


In closing, I'll leave you with the immortal words of legendary comedian Don Rickles: "Don't be a hockey puck!"

¡Buena suerte amigos, y muchas gracias!

Daniel

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